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i came here with some agenda which now has faded away because 1) i forgot what it was and 2) it probably wasn’t important anyway considering how it took my literally the time taken for this page to load for me to forget what i wanted to say.

i was also thinking, the only thing i like about myself at this particular time and space is my ability to match my typing speed to the lecturer’s talking speed so i get most words down in my evernote. and that the buns i’ve been tying with my hair are looking better. that is all. glad to know i still can mark my days with successes.

i have 80 pages of readings on american presidency to read before 1000h tomorrow this is just another reminder to appreciate that suffering from deadlines is indicative of my alive-ness / but i am feeling so un-alive

have been on 8tracks for the past half hour trying to find a study mixtape that i like so i can get down to the work i promised i would start 3 hours ago.

i found it!! excitement all around!!!!!

and my favourite track:

have a great time studying kids, i hope this mixtape makes you as excited for studying as i am now (probably will taper off in about 40 minutes).

i read something someone young and wise wrote. love is not watching someone die it definitely is watching yourself die but then again this is not love anymore it isn’t

and kitty forman reminded me, hindsight is 20/20

what animal are you now? why do you take pleasure in being unkind to me?